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Saturday, December 24, 2005 by Geoff

Well, its here.

It is officially Christmas Eve. All the hard work; shopping, decorating, cooking, viewing of Christmas specials and movies, will all be behind us after tomorrow's gift giving extravaganza. I love receiving gifts just as much as the next kid, but it seems once Christmas morning passes, and you head off to your family get together, that christmasy feel doesn't feel as molesty, a good molesty, as it did during the prior weeks.

I guess its the anticipation of the whole thang.

One strong memory, actually more of a feeling I had as a kid was coming home Christmas night. Ya see, as a wee lad, we would open the gifts in the morning, pig out on breakfast pastries, then we would head to my one grandmom's house (mom's mom) then after dinner we would head to my other grandmom's house (dad's mom). Then we would head back home. Maybe we would get back at 8 or 9, I don't know it was dark and it felt late. And since I didn't have school the next day bed time was pushed back. As we would be entering our front door I would get this feeling, I don't know what it was, probably just excitement but it was a little extra because I knew under that glowing tree there were fresh new toys for me to play with.

And unlike the morning, where I only had a certain amount of time to play with my new loot before we went on our journey for that day. When we came home at night the only limit I had, was my ability to stay awake. It was great playing with the new stuff on Christmas night, because the only lighting in the house wasn't from any lamps, Christmas night, light, was solely provided by the million and billions of tiny lights from the tree to the wreaths in the window to the lights all outside and all the lights highlighting each doorway in the house. Those Christmas lights gave that extra oomph to playing, it was the way the tree lights bounced off of Rock & Roll Michaelangelo's eyes.


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Thursday, December 22, 2005 by Geoff

My Top Ten Christmas Movie, and/or Specials, Characters

Here is my attempted at writing out my favorite characters from the oh-so-special, Christmas specials and movies. Now, don't get pissed if your most beloved characters don't make it, maybe I didn't see the movie, maybe I hate you on a personal level. Only I and the kebler elves may ever know. And now . . .let the listing begin. ( I think I will kill the suspense now, and start with my most favorite then head on up.)

1. The Old Man, Mr. Parker, Dad: A Christmas Story.

Number one goes to the man, I mean THE MAN. Who else could it be? The man spatted some of the most classic lines ever in a classic Christmastime movie. "Fra-jil-A," "Notta Finga!" and you can't forget all the nonsense that came out of his mouth while he dealt with the furnace and his neighbors, priceless. Also, he came through on Christmas morning. When things were looking down right craptacular for Ralphie and his long lost love. The old man pulls off the greatest gift giving, givings. He hides the red ryder for HIMSELF to spot with his eye, in which he proceeds to tell Ralphie he thinks something is behind the tree. That my friends is one of the greatest ways to receive a gift. Lose all hope in ever receiving THE gift, then someone drops the MF-er on ye head like a anvil. BAAM. Your head is cracked opened, blood is gushing everywhere and you can't be happier (I actually had this happen one year. I wanted drums, like, like . . .like a turkey wants a gobble. It was Christmas morning I had just finished opening up all the gifts. No drums. So far that morning I had only been in the dining room, well, because that's where the tree was. My mom proceeds to make a very asinine request, "Geoff can you get something or other from the kitchen," you could only imagine my anger; first of all (inter monologue) I'm friggin playing here with my new loot. Second of all, Santa and/or you and dad didn't get me my damn drums. Well, I walked into the kitchen and low and behold, there is a got damn, shiny new drum-kit all set up. Long story, short. . .I never had so much fun in a kitchen before, or since then.

What the hell was I posting about? Sweet lord. I'm sorry readers but I have fallen off course. This WAS suppose to be a sweet list about my fav Christmastime cinema and tv characters, including the likes of Uncle Lewis and Aunt Bethany (Christmas Vacation), Yukon Cornelius and The Bumble (Rudolph, the Red-Nosed Reindeer), Frosty the Snowman (Frosty the Snowman), Jacob Marley's Ghost-Goofy (Micky's Christmas Carol) and many more (well about 5 more).

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Wednesday, December 21, 2005 by Geoff

Santa, AKA. . .

Just like Method Man, aka Johnny Blaze, aka Big John Stud, aka Iron Lung; Santa is known by many different names.

I just mentioned the Meth and Santa, in the same damn free flowing thought. My work here is done.

Here's the damn list.

Santa's AKA's

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Tuesday, December 20, 2005 by Geoff

Santarchy! (Santacon): "No force on earth can stop one hundred Santas!

Santarchy in the news.

""They came in, said 'Merry Christmas' and then helped themselves," convenience store staff member Changa Manakynda told the Herald, which reported the Santas also attacked a Christmas tree."

They are some crazy F'in Santas fighting the man! I would love too see footage of the attack on the Christmas tree. If I were a betting man, I would bet that, they created a Quasi-Santa-Human turnbuckle while one of their Santa comrades climbed the ropes. Then once on top, said Santa either went with the good ol' fashion flying elbow, or a nice, kosher body dive; engulfing his body in Christmas tree goodness.

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Monday, December 19, 2005 by Geoff

A Christmastime and SNL classic. . .


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The name is Geoff. Give me a job. I already have one, but I want something esle.


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