When you explain away Michael, giving him modern day serial killer hellish upbringing, you take away his power. He no longer represents a myth bigger than a person, he doesn't represent death incarnate. He's just an average psycho in a mask. There's nothing special to him anymore.

This review of Rob Zombie's "Halloween" script is very disappointing. Much like the reviewer, I was somewhat looking forward to the "re-imaging" of the Halloween movie. But if the script he reviewed is in fact the final script, this movie is going to bad.

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Labels: Halloween, news

Comcast is my bitch. Allow me to explain: July, 2006, I become a home owner. Being the internet junkie that I am, and trying to save money, the fiancee and I forgo cable TV and just get broadband. Being in Philly we have one of two choices, the ever growing and evil Comcast, or the evil and ever growing Verizon. We go with Comcast simply because we have past experience with them.

Within a week of moving into our new home our internet is connected. Comcast, for the first 3 months will charge us $19.99 a month, after those 3 months it will be jacked up to the normal, one-service fee (meaning we don't have tv or phone through them) of 56 or so dollars a month, I'm not having that.

August. September. October.

It's three months later, a couple days before my $19.99 a month honeymoon comes to an end. I had this planned all along: I'm going to call Comcast and threaten to go to Verizon because they are offering their service for $34.99 a month. I call, I am transferred to a manager. A few minutes later I come out somewhat victorious:$34.99 a month, for the next 3 months.

November. December. January.

It's another 3 months later, yesterday. My $34.99 deal runs out at the beginning of next week, again I place a call to Comcast. I tell them I would like to cancel because Verizon has a better deal. The woman on the phone tells me, "Well, we already gave you $34.99 for three months, we can't give it to you again." I stick to my guns, I tell them to cancel it. My service with Comcast will end in five days. Fearing what life will be like without the internet, I immediately call Verizon. I setup everything, for $34.99 a month I am a new Verizon customer. Naked DSL, here I come.

Today, January 10, 2007. At about 10:30 AM, Eastern Standard time, I receive a call on my cell phone from a number I don't know. Being at work and not in the mood to be hassled I send it to my voice-mail. A few minutes later my phone vibrates , I have a new message. "You have one new message. *BEEP* Hi, this is blah-blah with Comcast, I'm just calling about your cancelled service. If you are interested, we are offering the low-price of $12.95. If you are interested please call me back at blah-blah-blah."

I contemplate waiting to call so I don't seem too interested, but I don't. Feeling like I just won a major award I immediatly call-back the "Account Specialist." A few minutes later I am the proud owner of boardband cable for $9.95 a month plus $3.00 modem rental for a year, yeah, that's right, your eyes did not fail you: one year.

I don't know how Comcast came to that figure, they must have recognized my powers of grayskull. How they went from $56.99 a month to $12.95 a month I don't know, maybe they saw me working out at the gym. Either way, I don't care, I'm the Pimp and Comcast works for me.

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Labels: comcast, news, nonsense

What else could Chuck Norris want? He is a world famous movie star, tv star, cartoon star, super ninja figher -- who knew he was a comic book superhero?

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Labels: chuck norris, Haha's, news, nonsense

That is right, I am another victim of screaming-at-the-top-of-my-lungs-for-several-hours-in-a-row. Why? M F'in Eagles playoff game, that is why! Don't ask again or I'll scream a warm mist of nothing in your face.

Sitting only 4 rows from the highest peak of Lincoln field, one must scream as loud and as often and as loud as they can to create a sufficient amount of noise to energize their beloved Eagles player. Many-a-fan yell encouraging words, "Come on boys, turn it up!" Some enthusiasts prefer to make it personal, "I love you Westbrook!" Myself though, being a man of logic, I says: Being 3 miles into the sky, the participants in the sporting event below can't here you. Therefore, I yell gibberish, complete nonsense. Sure, people in the area may give funny looks, but I blame it on the lack of oxygen due to our extreme distances from the ground.

Try yelling nonsense at the next sporting event, or if you are feeling adventurous, the next play or ballet you attended. Yell: "Bag of bitches!((c)Joe)", "Keeping it real like Ron Popeil((c)Joe)!", "Farm animals are fun!", "Me, You and Dupree!", "Stab him with something!", "Punch him in the ear!", and "I hate Jesus and Jesus hates me!". Now, come up with your own nonsense phrases, it's fun!

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Labels: nonsense