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A Hole In The Head!

Thursday, August 03, 2006 by Geoff

With the Philly homicide number growing daily, and a lack of ideas to prevent more murders -- Mayor Street has come up with a great idea: PSA's featuring Philadelphia celebrities encouraging to-be murders to lay down the guns and think before they act. Yes, that will work. Really. No sarcasms on my end, at all.

Let me give my own observation on why people are kill happy.

  • Gun Control. There is none in PA. PA is like the Santa Clause of guns. Gun wanters can get as many guns as they want whenever they want. They just need to pass a background check and fill out some forms. And usually, these are the people that sell the guns to the streets.

  • Weak ass judicial system. Cops arrest people for having guns, and drugs, but the judges give very weak sentences. The judges say the prisons are over crowded so they can't keep the riff-raff behind bars too long. I say BS. Find a way to contain.

  • People are F'in craaaazy, with four "A's." From what I read, a large portion of the shootings stem from arguments. Why, in these people's minds, it is okay to shoot someone over something as stupid as bumping into each other, I have no clue.

  • Drugs are also a problem.

(there's more to it, but that is the jest of it)

So, I have an idea. One word. Four syllables. LOBOTOMY. If we would just incorporate lobotomies into our judicial system, I think, we would have a happier, safer Philadelphia, and world.
It consists of cutting the connections to and from, or simply destroying, the prefrontal cortex. These procedures often result in major personality changes. Leukotomies have been used in the past to "treat" a wide range of mental illnesses including schizophrenia, depression, and various anxiety disorders. They have even been used to allegedly "cure" communism, homosexuality, and even simple disruptive behavior.

If it cured communism, it sure can fix murders.

Lobotomies would be positive in many ways. First it would lessen the prison population. I am not saying all prisoners should get lobotomies, just violent offenders. Rapist, murders, etc. If a murderer received a lobot that said killer would no longer need to be imprisoned. He would be harmless. His parents could take care of him, or send him to a mental hospital, or he could wander aimlessly.

So, boom. More room in prisons.

Lobots in the prevention of crime would work well also. One, I think the fear of having a lobot would deter some would be criminals. People would think twice. If they don't that would be the last time they thought. It would also prevent crime because I would give lobotomies to repeat offenders. 3 strikes and you got yourself a medical hole in the head. For example, someone is arrested for burglary, assault, and gun charges. BANG. You just earned a lobot. Repeat offenders seem to keep on repeating. Well, if you aren't civilized enough to live in peace and harmony with other humans you get a lobot. Within a year Philadelphia would be safer times 10!

Instead of criminals roaming the streets we would have a bunch of zombies. Which is fine because I like zombies.

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It's About That Time . . .Almost

Monday, July 31, 2006 by Geoff

Halloween Party 05

Do you know what today is? No, it is not my birthday. No, it is not your birthday. Today is July 31st -- exactly 3 months before Halloween!

I absolutely love Halloween. It is only second to Christmas, mainly because of the hype and build-up Christmas has. Not to many people, anymore at least, seem to get super pumped for Halloween. But they should. What other time can you disguise your house, apartment, or room as an evil, ghoul infested, zombie ravaged, candy giving entity? When else can you dress up as demon from the other world, or as a man, dress up like a woman and receive smiles instead of stares? You can't. So just give in! Love Halloween with me! But I digress.

This year Meliss and I will be having our annual ( I think 5th or 6th annual) Halloween bash. And for the first time, ever! We will be having it at our very own home.

In past years attendees could come in whatever costume they pleased. This year though, I am toying with the idea of having a theme. I'm thinking a comic book theme. Anyone coming can dress as any character that has ever appeared in a comic book. I have an idea for the invitations and everything. It will be a sweet thang-a-chang.

I found out some depressing news this weekend though. I asked a neighbor what the Halloween turnout was like and he told me, "Last year we only got about 4." That is a downer. Maybe I can distribute flyers to encourage ToTs (trick or treaters) to stop by my haunt. Or run about the streets on Halloween night throwing candy at unsuspecting kiddies.

I will post more Halloween induced entries as we get closer to the date. Is anyone else a Halloween geek?

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The name is Geoff. Give me a job. I already have one, but I want something esle.


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