This game is hard . . .it uses WORDS

You may ask yourself, what is this picture to the left? And you may ask yourself, why are mountain lions wearing clothes? And you may ask yourself-well...why are they on a safari?

Is it a photograph from National Geographic? Is it a special on Oprah? "When Mountain Lions are Confused." Is it a new children's book? "Mountain Lion Camping Fun." Or is this picture the government's way of reaching out to children to prepare them for a terrorist attack. If you chose the latter, you are correct.

From the homepage of Homeland Security (www.ready.gov) comes "Ready Kids! RK, provides 4 fun steps to ready the kids.

Step One. Create an Emergency Supply Kit.

Just think about all the things your family uses every day. Hmm. Clothes, money, TV or radio, books . . . and don't forget about food!

Yes, don't be a "Forgetful Freddy." You don't want to forget about food. If I had a kid and during a nuclear holocaust they lugged out the 62inch plasma TV and forgot to pack food . . .I would tell him in a nice calm, but strict voice, "Son, thank you for bringing the TV, but Mommy and I are going to eat you."

Final Check
Make sure you haven't forgotten anything important (like your favorite CD!)

"Daughter, as long as you have your Britney Spears "Greatest Hits" album those radiation burns will be okay!"

You can look at the rest of the steps. I have nothing humorous to add to them.

But I did find out there is a non-mountain lion family member.
HECTOR HUMMINGBIRD

SKILLS: Speed. Darting quickly from one place to another, he passes messages at lightning speed. Sometimes he flies so fast that his goggles fly off!

He sounds like Speedy Gonzales with wings. Poor Mexicans, they can't get away from that super speed stereotype.

Today's link is a fun little game. It makes babies agitated and fills maniacs with anger - just like any good game should. How far can you swing?

While at my local multiplex this weekend to see the motion picture, Thank You for Smoking - a humorous, but not as humorous as the many pseudo-intellectuals in the theater would have had you think, satire about, "Big Tobacco's chief spokesman, Nick Naylor, who spins on behalf of cigarettes while trying to remain a role model for his twelve-year-old son."

While my fiancee and I were walking to our theater destination I found, I saw before me, that. That being that picture. That picture? A "Snakes On The Plane" movie poster. What's the big deal? Well, for me at least, it was the first time I saw anything SoaP related in person - it wasn't on the internet and it was official, not some bootleg. If I was a hardcore criminal I could have punched the plexiglass prison the poster was trapped in, shattered it with my fury, and actually hold the damn thing in my hand. But, I did nothing of that - I'm not a fury firing criminal.

What does this mean for our civilized nation? We are ever so close to the August 18th, 2006 release of Snakes On a Plane. A quick look at my space, on myspace, will provide you with exactly how much time you have to prepare your feeble souls for most spectacular release of SoaP.

And for your information - I did scream like a small, albino, Laterhousen wearing, knee-sock sporting, mommy-mommy-give-me-that-new-toy-now whining, snotty nose child, when I saw the poster.

One final note: I took the picture with my phone. That is the reason for the crappy looking thang.