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I Have No Voice

That is right, I am another victim of screaming-at-the-top-of-my-lungs-for-several-hours-in-a-row. Why? M F'in Eagles playoff game, that is why! Don't ask again or I'll scream a warm mist of nothing in your face.

Sitting only 4 rows from the highest peak of Lincoln field, one must scream as loud and as often and as loud as they can to create a sufficient amount of noise to energize their beloved Eagles player. Many-a-fan yell encouraging words, "Come on boys, turn it up!" Some enthusiasts prefer to make it personal, "I love you Westbrook!" Myself though, being a man of logic, I says: Being 3 miles into the sky, the participants in the sporting event below can't here you. Therefore, I yell gibberish, complete nonsense. Sure, people in the area may give funny looks, but I blame it on the lack of oxygen due to our extreme distances from the ground.

Try yelling nonsense at the next sporting event, or if you are feeling adventurous, the next play or ballet you attended. Yell: "Bag of bitches!((c)Joe)", "Keeping it real like Ron Popeil((c)Joe)!", "Farm animals are fun!", "Me, You and Dupree!", "Stab him with something!", "Punch him in the ear!", and "I hate Jesus and Jesus hates me!". Now, come up with your own nonsense phrases, it's fun!

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“I Have No Voice”