The question I am about ask and answer, has been answered and asked numerous times throughout the ages. Who's better, Santa or Jesus?

Facial Hair:
Santa, he sports a most wonderful fluffy beard of white. It is as if he held up a cloud and stole its baby.
Jesus, his beard appears to be grown out of laziness. He looks like a damn hippie. Plus, I think it might smell.

Winner: Santa

Fashion Sense:
Santa knows what looks good on him. He wears his red suit, the suit does not wear him. His color coordination is impeccable, red hat with white trim, red top-thing with white trim, black leather belt, black leather boots -- elf tailors kick ass. Not only is red suit stylin', it is also very practical for those Arctic days and nights.

Jesus, he wears sandals and a white shaw, throw thing. I don't know about then, but it just doesn't work now. We should just be thankful he doesn't wear socks.

Winner: Santa

Mode of Transportation:
Santa, rocks a physics defying Sleigh.

Jesus, drives a mule. (I don't think he is even trying)

Winner: Santa

Last Seen:
Santa, in the mall this past weekend.

Jesus, on a dog's ass.

Winner: Santa

It's conclusive, Santa does and loves to kick Jesus' ass everyday of the week. And just in case you don't believe me: more evidence

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Labels: Christmastime, nonsense

This entry was posted by Geoff, on Friday, December 08, 2006. You can leave your response.