"All the candy corn that was ever made, was made in 1911. They never had to make it again; we never eat enough of it."
-Lewis Black

I don't know how or why, but candy corn has always been one of my favorite Halloween treats. I don't know if it's because it's named after a vegetable and tastes nothing like it, or if it's its festive colors that are easy for my color-blinded eyes to see. I do know my dreams of world peace do to the simultaneous consumption of candy corn has be shattered.

Until recently, this naive, post-pubescent man assumed that every air-breathing, blood bleeding, man, woman, and child enjoyed the delectable treat that is candy corn. But due to the increase popularity, usage, and connectivity of the internet I have learned that I am a fool. One quick click on this link and you to can see the hate filled hatred many people have for this delicious treat. It makes me sick.

I have a plan though. Since I am now a legit land owner I have powers! I'm not talking voting powers circa 1776 -- I am talking Halloween-candy giving out powers! I decide what candy is given out and how much candy is given out! My plan? I will give shitloads of candy corn to ever trick-or-treater that walks within 10 feet of my person. I will give them so much candy corn they will have to eat it, and love it!

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Labels: Halloween

This entry was posted by Geoff, on Monday, September 18, 2006. You can leave your response.