Kids Today
Little kids today and their moves. Last weekend while attending a friend's graduation party I encounter, what I consider, a most disturbing event - little kids, no older than the age of 9, and as young 2, training to be professional ninjas.
As the only postpubescent human in the room I was hypnotized by the stupidity that was being shown on tv. Being outnumbered by the munchkins the Disney channel was locked onto the TV, and the program being broadcasted at that particular time was a horrid made for tv movie starring, her royal cowness, Kristi Ally. She played a woman who died and was learning to be the tooth fairy. Because I was so preoccupied trying to figure out who financed the piece of brain rotting entertainment, I did not even notice the small ninja revolution five feet in front of me.
The MFTM (made for tv movie) went to a commercial break slightly breaking my hypnotized state. I looked around the room like a dog trying to understand its master's commands. I saw little kids, off in the distance of 5 feet, jumping off an ottoman. I thought to myself, "How nice, human harmony." Coming out of my inter-monologue my ears allowed the sounds of the foreground to enter my head. Little kid voices filled my head-holes, "Watch my move . . .this is my move . . .ninjas never rest until all are dead!" I stared a gasped.
I had no time to think. I leaped off the couch, I stretched my extremities, I was hoping to takeout as many little bastards as I could like bowling pins. I heard, "Ki-i-yi-i"," then I hit the floor, hard. I thought I had landed on a few of the baby ninjas, but I didn't, what I felt was my body quickly swelling with bruises. I managed to bypass the pain, I looked up. The room was empty - not a single little ninja warrior insight. Painfully, I rose to my feet. whoosh - bam. I am back on the floor, on my ass.
With my entire body aching I opened my eyes. I thought I was dying. The room was getting smaller and smaller, darker and darker. I heard a voice off in the distance, I thought it was my mother, "This is not your mother, Geoff. I am Schulmanny the Tiger, the leader." Still on my back I asked, "The leader of what?" "The leader of your and the world's demise."
Someone above, upstairs, yelled, "Kids, its time for CAKE!" I blinked. When my eyes reopened they were gone. The only remnants of their existence was their quickly moving footsteps going up the stairs.
As the only postpubescent human in the room I was hypnotized by the stupidity that was being shown on tv. Being outnumbered by the munchkins the Disney channel was locked onto the TV, and the program being broadcasted at that particular time was a horrid made for tv movie starring, her royal cowness, Kristi Ally. She played a woman who died and was learning to be the tooth fairy. Because I was so preoccupied trying to figure out who financed the piece of brain rotting entertainment, I did not even notice the small ninja revolution five feet in front of me.
The MFTM (made for tv movie) went to a commercial break slightly breaking my hypnotized state. I looked around the room like a dog trying to understand its master's commands. I saw little kids, off in the distance of 5 feet, jumping off an ottoman. I thought to myself, "How nice, human harmony." Coming out of my inter-monologue my ears allowed the sounds of the foreground to enter my head. Little kid voices filled my head-holes, "Watch my move . . .this is my move . . .ninjas never rest until all are dead!" I stared a gasped.
I had no time to think. I leaped off the couch, I stretched my extremities, I was hoping to takeout as many little bastards as I could like bowling pins. I heard, "Ki-i-yi-i"," then I hit the floor, hard. I thought I had landed on a few of the baby ninjas, but I didn't, what I felt was my body quickly swelling with bruises. I managed to bypass the pain, I looked up. The room was empty - not a single little ninja warrior insight. Painfully, I rose to my feet. whoosh - bam. I am back on the floor, on my ass.
With my entire body aching I opened my eyes. I thought I was dying. The room was getting smaller and smaller, darker and darker. I heard a voice off in the distance, I thought it was my mother, "This is not your mother, Geoff. I am Schulmanny the Tiger, the leader." Still on my back I asked, "The leader of what?" "The leader of your and the world's demise."
Someone above, upstairs, yelled, "Kids, its time for CAKE!" I blinked. When my eyes reopened they were gone. The only remnants of their existence was their quickly moving footsteps going up the stairs.
This entry was posted by Geoff, on
Friday, June 09, 2006.
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