<body><script type="text/javascript"> function setAttributeOnload(object, attribute, val) { if(window.addEventListener) { window.addEventListener('load', function(){ object[attribute] = val; }, false); } else { window.attachEvent('onload', function(){ object[attribute] = val; }); } } </script> <div id="navbar-iframe-container"></div> <script type="text/javascript" src="https://apis.google.com/js/platform.js"></script> <script type="text/javascript"> gapi.load("gapi.iframes:gapi.iframes.style.bubble", function() { if (gapi.iframes && gapi.iframes.getContext) { gapi.iframes.getContext().openChild({ url: 'https://www.blogger.com/navbar.g?targetBlogID\x3d6665582\x26blogName\x3dGeliophobia\x26publishMode\x3dPUBLISH_MODE_BLOGSPOT\x26navbarType\x3dBLUE\x26layoutType\x3dCLASSIC\x26searchRoot\x3dhttps://icupg.blogspot.com/search\x26blogLocale\x3den_US\x26v\x3d2\x26homepageUrl\x3dhttp://icupg.blogspot.com/\x26vt\x3d8980173116408011525', where: document.getElementById("navbar-iframe-container"), id: "navbar-iframe" }); } }); </script>

. . .

. . .I wipe the last of the vomit-drool from my face - we lock eyes. The loans and I just stare. Hours, maybe even years pass and I can not break the dark, cold, soul-molesting stare of the loans. I feel weak. I feel lost. How can I win this battle?

The loans' powerful, menacing stare makes it impossible for me to create a inner-monologue. It is evading my thoughts, stealing my memories. I. Can. Not. Think.

Black.

“. . .”