Living Outhouse
*I visited Buffalo, New York, this weekend to witness the first game of the NHL Eastern Conference Quarterfinals. The Philadelphia Flyers versus the Buffalo Sabers. Upon returning from my trip I have come to one conclusion - Buffalo is a horrid city, vile in appearance and reeking of a terrible stench. The only redeemable quality of Buffalo would be the lake effect snow. Fore it suppresses the sight and odor of this disgusting city.
The woman are ugly and corn-fed. The men are moronic and fat. When I arrived I thought I had slipped through some sort of hellish time warp, I thought I was in Europe, circa the Dark ages. Buffalo features no modern amenities. The last use of modern plumbing I saw was the airplane bathroom. To my horrific surprise, Buffalo has no plumbing system, at all, throughout the whole city. Yes, there are outhouses and holes almost every 30 feet - but if you want running water do not get off the plane. The only running water I saw, was water from Lake Erie running of the misshapen backs of the residents of Buffalo after their quadri-annual bath. It was not a sight to see.
I would have posted sooner, but you know, the internet does not do fountain pen and scroll paper.
Buffalo is rampant with pestilence and the bubonic plague. Not only does Lake Erie serve as a bathing area, it also serves as a dump-for-the-dead. Truly gruesome.
While at the game I noticed most of the Sabers fans were lobotomized. They sat there staring and drooling; mumbling as if they were trying to recall and piece together words and sentences. The Saber fan next to me was eating garbage off the floor, I offered a piece of soft pretzel to him. Upon swallowing, he immediately regurgitated the pretzel and vomited all over himself. I guess after years of digesting rotten trash there stomachs cannot handle delicious.
I did have tickets for tonight's game, but my senses couldn't not handle the smells and sights that make up Buffalo. I hope our Flyers return home with the series tied 1-1 and disease free.
LET'S GO FLYERS!
*This post may or maybe not be a work of fiction. Buffalo, New York, may or may not have a bubonic plague crisis.
The woman are ugly and corn-fed. The men are moronic and fat. When I arrived I thought I had slipped through some sort of hellish time warp, I thought I was in Europe, circa the Dark ages. Buffalo features no modern amenities. The last use of modern plumbing I saw was the airplane bathroom. To my horrific surprise, Buffalo has no plumbing system, at all, throughout the whole city. Yes, there are outhouses and holes almost every 30 feet - but if you want running water do not get off the plane. The only running water I saw, was water from Lake Erie running of the misshapen backs of the residents of Buffalo after their quadri-annual bath. It was not a sight to see.
I would have posted sooner, but you know, the internet does not do fountain pen and scroll paper.
Buffalo is rampant with pestilence and the bubonic plague. Not only does Lake Erie serve as a bathing area, it also serves as a dump-for-the-dead. Truly gruesome.
While at the game I noticed most of the Sabers fans were lobotomized. They sat there staring and drooling; mumbling as if they were trying to recall and piece together words and sentences. The Saber fan next to me was eating garbage off the floor, I offered a piece of soft pretzel to him. Upon swallowing, he immediately regurgitated the pretzel and vomited all over himself. I guess after years of digesting rotten trash there stomachs cannot handle delicious.
I did have tickets for tonight's game, but my senses couldn't not handle the smells and sights that make up Buffalo. I hope our Flyers return home with the series tied 1-1 and disease free.
LET'S GO FLYERS!
*This post may or maybe not be a work of fiction. Buffalo, New York, may or may not have a bubonic plague crisis.
This entry was posted by Geoff, on
Monday, April 24, 2006.
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