The Undead Wed
http://www.cnn.com/US/dead_marriage
Today, the president signed a landmark bill legalizing Zombie marriages. Many are livid, plenty are dead.
In 1968, Zombies, as a group came into the public eye. They were no longer an "underground" community, they were no longer in the casket; they were here, and they were dead. Many people were fearful of Zombies, their life style was horrifying. Yet, almost 40 years later many people still feel the same way. Zombies, today, still are shunned and face many predjudice in society.
Many "living" people justify their prejudice towards Zombies citing that they, "just don't agree with their way of life."
In case you were born "dedrater," the Zombie lifestyle includes, but is not limited to: Night walking, moaning and groaning, alternative fashion, and flesh and brain eating.
Many people disagree with said lifestyle, the biggest and most vocal opposers are religious groups, they are pissed off about the legalization of Zombie marriages. Rob Paterson, leader of the Christian Right Alliance Party for Being Aligned with God, or CRAPBAG, says "The passing of this new bill is one of the greatest travesties the living human race has every faced; worse than the holocaust." He added, "Allowing Zombies to marry is a disgrace, we might as well punch God in his beautiful porcelain-white face. We shall surely see some scourging due to his anger in the form of natural nature occurrences, such as: tsunami's, hurricanes, earthquakes, heavy rain, and loud thunder. Mark my words."
Sidenote: Mr. Paterson attempted to quote the bible to prove God's disapproval of Zombies, but he could not find such a verse. Instead, the CRAPBAG leader said, "Those damn dirty Zombies!" Somewhat quoting the motion picture "Planet of the Apes."
Although, the Zombie community faces much opposition, they do have many supporters. Zombie activist, George Romero, stated "Zombies are people, just like you and me. Their lifestyle is as natural as waking up in the morning. Zombies are born Zombies, or (they) have their brains eaten and become Zombies. No one chooses to be a Zombie, who would choose to be hated?"
At the end of the day Zombies can marry, yet Zombies won't be loved. This community of the "undead" will still face hardships in the future, but possibly, with the passing of this bill, we are slowly witnessing the acceptance and approval of Zombies and their lifestyle.
-Staff Writer
Today, the president signed a landmark bill legalizing Zombie marriages. Many are livid, plenty are dead.
In 1968, Zombies, as a group came into the public eye. They were no longer an "underground" community, they were no longer in the casket; they were here, and they were dead. Many people were fearful of Zombies, their life style was horrifying. Yet, almost 40 years later many people still feel the same way. Zombies, today, still are shunned and face many predjudice in society.
Many "living" people justify their prejudice towards Zombies citing that they, "just don't agree with their way of life."
In case you were born "dedrater," the Zombie lifestyle includes, but is not limited to: Night walking, moaning and groaning, alternative fashion, and flesh and brain eating.
Many people disagree with said lifestyle, the biggest and most vocal opposers are religious groups, they are pissed off about the legalization of Zombie marriages. Rob Paterson, leader of the Christian Right Alliance Party for Being Aligned with God, or CRAPBAG, says "The passing of this new bill is one of the greatest travesties the living human race has every faced; worse than the holocaust." He added, "Allowing Zombies to marry is a disgrace, we might as well punch God in his beautiful porcelain-white face. We shall surely see some scourging due to his anger in the form of natural nature occurrences, such as: tsunami's, hurricanes, earthquakes, heavy rain, and loud thunder. Mark my words."
Sidenote: Mr. Paterson attempted to quote the bible to prove God's disapproval of Zombies, but he could not find such a verse. Instead, the CRAPBAG leader said, "Those damn dirty Zombies!" Somewhat quoting the motion picture "Planet of the Apes."
Although, the Zombie community faces much opposition, they do have many supporters. Zombie activist, George Romero, stated "Zombies are people, just like you and me. Their lifestyle is as natural as waking up in the morning. Zombies are born Zombies, or (they) have their brains eaten and become Zombies. No one chooses to be a Zombie, who would choose to be hated?"
At the end of the day Zombies can marry, yet Zombies won't be loved. This community of the "undead" will still face hardships in the future, but possibly, with the passing of this bill, we are slowly witnessing the acceptance and approval of Zombies and their lifestyle.
-Staff Writer
Labels: ZOMBIES
This entry was posted by Geoff, on
Wednesday, January 25, 2006.
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