Odd Things at My Place of Employment
This post was inspired an hour ago, by my last trip to the bathroom.
Heeeere we go (c) Slick Rick.
Ok. I have to number 1, I head to the closest urinal, in the closest men's room, which at my work is populated by the weirdest, creepiest, and dirtiest men, the g-o-d has allowed to roam the earth. You say, "Geoff it can't be that bad." Oh, its THAT bad.
As soon as I enter the sheit hole, I can tell someone is making use of their sheithole; one the stench, two I can see their feet. I dash over to the unrinal making sure I hold my breath, with my mouth shut, I don't want to smell or eat the offensive stench. As I prepare to make use of said urinal I hear whispering coming from the only occupied stall. I pee lightly as I try to decipher what is being said. The whispering keeps going and going, it has an almost rhythmic like quality, like a song or a prayer. The toilet flushes, the door opens and it continues. Although I am done, I continued to stand at the vertical wall-pee collector, for I know who the poop-whisperererer is. It is . . .it is . . .Its the creepy dude who trained me during my for two days at this place, its the creepy dude with one short arm, its the creepy dude who has a man-crush on me. No lie he has a man crush, ON ME. My second day working here, march 05', he says to me "Geoff if you aren't doing anything this weekend you should come to my daughters dance recital." For real.
Whenever this t-rexed-armed man passes my cubicle he stares at me hoping, for small talk, a hello, a smile, a nod, acknowledgement, but I give him nothing. He seriously freaks me out. The rare times he does corner me, and I am forced to talk to him, he always loses eye contact with me and I watch him look at me, up and down. He undresses me with his small, beady eyes.
Back to the bathroom.
He is bit of a religious, Jewish. I have Jewish friend I will have to ask, but maybe he was saying a poop-prayer. Maybe he was blessing his crap and asking his yahweh to guide him and his poop in their journeys.
Heeeere we go (c) Slick Rick.
Ok. I have to number 1, I head to the closest urinal, in the closest men's room, which at my work is populated by the weirdest, creepiest, and dirtiest men, the g-o-d has allowed to roam the earth. You say, "Geoff it can't be that bad." Oh, its THAT bad.
As soon as I enter the sheit hole, I can tell someone is making use of their sheithole; one the stench, two I can see their feet. I dash over to the unrinal making sure I hold my breath, with my mouth shut, I don't want to smell or eat the offensive stench. As I prepare to make use of said urinal I hear whispering coming from the only occupied stall. I pee lightly as I try to decipher what is being said. The whispering keeps going and going, it has an almost rhythmic like quality, like a song or a prayer. The toilet flushes, the door opens and it continues. Although I am done, I continued to stand at the vertical wall-pee collector, for I know who the poop-whisperererer is. It is . . .it is . . .Its the creepy dude who trained me during my for two days at this place, its the creepy dude with one short arm, its the creepy dude who has a man-crush on me. No lie he has a man crush, ON ME. My second day working here, march 05', he says to me "Geoff if you aren't doing anything this weekend you should come to my daughters dance recital." For real.
Whenever this t-rexed-armed man passes my cubicle he stares at me hoping, for small talk, a hello, a smile, a nod, acknowledgement, but I give him nothing. He seriously freaks me out. The rare times he does corner me, and I am forced to talk to him, he always loses eye contact with me and I watch him look at me, up and down. He undresses me with his small, beady eyes.
Back to the bathroom.
He is bit of a religious, Jewish. I have Jewish friend I will have to ask, but maybe he was saying a poop-prayer. Maybe he was blessing his crap and asking his yahweh to guide him and his poop in their journeys.
This entry was posted by Geoff, on
Monday, January 23, 2006.
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