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1. Today, Fat activist from the National Association to Advance Fat Acceptance protested the diet industry because they are tired of fat jokes and everyone's obession with dieting. But, after about 10 minutes the protesters became exhausted, got on their handicap scooters and headed to McDonald's.

-the real deal.

2. German scientist have given new hope to teenagers. The scientist have discovered the genetic code which causes acne. With this new information they believe acne will be battled more effectively. Next, the scientist will be trying to discover the gene responsible for uncontrollable boners.

-the real deal.

3. Finally, today, President Bush asked congress to create a position of national intelligence director. Bush said we need an "integrated, unified national intelligence effort." He then challenged everyone to say that 10 times fast.

-the real deal.

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